just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
