I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
