And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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