Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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