I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Randomize
