i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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