I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
