Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
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I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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