you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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