i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
