do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I take back everything I said about communal showers
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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