I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize