Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
