I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
