i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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