i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
