we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize