Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Drunk is not a location!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
