Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
