You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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