Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
