i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
