I just cut my nipple shaving
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
