know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
