If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
