my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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