my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
