alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
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Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
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Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.