his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!