too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.