is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
