My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
