I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I am midnight drunk by noon
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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