After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
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He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
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how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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