sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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