I wanna passion pit in your ass
You can't motorboat a personality
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
