i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
All I want is dick and wine.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
