thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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