Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
