never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
