I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize