I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
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is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
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Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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