Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
