2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
