I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
