i think my tv is drunk
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize