Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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