He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
