we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
