And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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