In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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