shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
