oh god the rape fog is back!
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
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