I'm so fucking centered right now
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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