Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
