She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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