dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
