I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize