Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
