i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you mean i was at the winter classic?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
