Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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