aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
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My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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