next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
