He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
